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Answer by Visakan Veerasamy:
The most important thing is
A: A mutual understanding and agreement that both parties will put the couple's interests (which they determine together) ahead of their own.
B: This requires a willingness for compromise and sacrifice, and a capacity for forgiveness and grace. Consistency in these areas builds trust and mutual respect.
C: This is maintained through personal growh and external stressors via consistent, open and respectful communication.
I think if you focus on these basic principles, everything else falls into place very nicely. So the questions to ask are:
1: Are we communicating, respectfully, listening fully?
2: Do we understand each other's perspectives, goals, desires? Do we acknowledge their validity? Do we validate one another in the process?
3: Are we taking mutual steps towards satisfying each other, and ourselves as a unit?
Constantly revisit these and I think you should be okay.